I'M ADDICTED...

Thank you Pepperidge Farm for creating such delicious fishy crackers! AND...thank you Kimmie for introducing them to me in college. I remember the Costco sized box that was ALWAYS full for 4 years. :)

I love you little chedder, baked fishy crackers! You are so good in my tummy!!!!!!!!! :)

I'M OFFICIALLY...

A drop out! Yay! I've never dropped out of school in my life, but I did it. On Sunday, 3/15, I was sitting on the couch studying for my Biology exam and I was like "I don't want to do this anymore." So, last week I went online and dropped my class. I haven't felt this free and released in awhile! It's such a great feeling! So, yay!!!!!!! I'm offficially a drop out. I couldn't be any happier. I thought I would regret it, but I haven't felt any regrets at all and every day I'm getting happier and happier. It's such a strange thing.

THIS WEEK SO FAR...

Lately, I've been really passionate about being an advocate for North Koreans. I just finished reading Escape from North Korea and on Monday night I'll be going to see the "Crossing" at Biola. Please see the following preview.


Crossing - Trailer from LiNK Global on Vimeo.

Please pass this trailer along to your family and friends!

To see a screening of this movie, please go to http://www.linkglobal.org/ to find out if there's a showing at a place near you or request one! This link also shows how you can be involve and support the cause.

As a wise friend and I have said this more than once: We MUST be the voice to the voiceless. I can no longer be ignorant about this anymore. So, will you please join me in spreading the word? The least we can do on our part is to become aware of the situation and to pray.

After participating in various events focusing on North Korea the last 2 years and reading the book, I am so GRATEFUL for the life I have here. I have it easy. None of my problems (big or small) can ever compare with the struggles North Koreans faces every day.

A SIMPLE WAY TO HELP SEND A BIBLE!

To learn more about this simple action, please click on the picture above. This is definitely something your whole family can do! Also, please pass this on to all your friends! Thank you!

PROCRASTINATION.

I'm procrastinating. Yeah!!!!!!!!! Just like the old days. Brandy locked up in her room WORKING on homework. Kimmie taking a nap. Me...procrastinating and trying to find others to procrastinate with me except I'm home and there's no one to procrastinate with. :(

So, here's a recap of my week...

1. Had dinner with the Reeves. Love you guys so much!!!

2. Went from a high to low within seconds, but ended the week a little bit above the middle. I've never realized how evil people can be, especially Christians. It really made me re-check my heart, motives, actions and words.

3. I am starting to like and embrace other Asians. I'm not so turned off by them anymore. I even went to a Korean market and a Tofu House for dinner. No stares this time, which is nice.

4. Just because I'm more open embracing those of my own kind, I am no where near attracted to Asian men at all beyond friendship. I just want to clear the air before rumors get started and people starts to ask me questions. I've had a few already. So, unless the Asian boy looks like a TALL, BLONDE guy, then the answer is still no. :)

4. I love living in a big house. There's a living room with 3 full couches and a very cozy love seat. We all have a spot that's our own in the room to spread out with our laptops and papers. It's great!

5. I've decided for the next 3 months, I'm taking a break from church and its duties. I'll still be going to church, just sneaking in and out. I'll miss playing with the kids too! :( It's just for a couple of months.

6. I've decided that I need to live on a budget. This kinds of scares me. I haven't decided how I should approach this subject. So, if you are an EXPERT in this area, please HELP ME!!!!! I know a few of you are really good with your money, so please pass on your advice!!! :)

7. I'm getting back on track with working out. It's been almost a year. :) It's time. I've exercised 3 times this week! That's a good start right?

8. I want to start my own news station and only report good and happy things. All the stuff that's on the news now just makes people depressed and scared. It's just retarded.

9. The thought of moving up to Redding, CA makes me happy. Don't know when that's going to happen, but when it does happen, it will be a glorious day!

10. I am missing my friends, near and far. :(

5 WAYS TO MISERY.

My friend Gina showed me this video and I LOVED IT!!!!! Hope you'll get a good laugh from it like I did. :) Enjoy!!!

AND I WANT TO LIVE HERE...

Interesting articles on the web today. I've already posted one earlier this morning. You can click HERE to read it. Here are two more articles. One talks about the HAPPIEST PLACES (Disneyland isn't even on the list!) to live in the States and the other one about a CAVE HOME. Now if I can just move the cave home to one of the happiest place, like Hawaii, I think I would be quite happy. :)

WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE IN A CAVE HOME IN HAWAII????

PROBABLY WILL NEVER BE ONE OF THESE...

Here's an ARTICLE that I read/skimmed through this morning. I don't think I will EVER become one of "those" people. They've taken being cheap to a whole new level! I don't have a problem with being cheap, but when it's this extreme, it's just not worth it to me. We'll see as the recession continues. :)

What do you think???????

WHAT IS MY PROBLEM??

I have this problem and I'm not sure what causes it. I can't seem to pay my bills when I have the time to and then comes due date, I'm scrambling and there's no time to do it. I also have a problem sending out packages and buying presents. I have 2 things sitting under my desk that I need to send out to people. One has been sitting there for a couple of months and the other one over a week. It's driving me nuts that I don't have the motivation to get these things out the door. What is my problem? I need to be diagnosed and I need to get help! Does anyone know what I have????

And, let me reiterate again how much I despise talking on the phone. I despise it so much that I will not even listen to my voicemail until days later and even then I don't really pay much attention to it. I listen to make sure that you sound calm and not in a state of emergency and then I stop it and delete it. So, sorry if you've left me messages and asked me questions and I haven't gotten back to you. Please just text me. It's a lot easier that way. :) (Even the iPhone doesn't help with me wanting to talk on the phone anymore. It was very short-lived.)

LET'S BE HONEST.

Let's be honest....

1. Last Sunday, we sung a new song during worship written by the worship pastor. Let's be honest, I wasn't a big fan. It kind of ruined my mood to worship. The message was great though! But then they had us sing it again at the end. :(

2. God is cutting people out of my life. Let's be honest, I don't feel pain or regrets or sadness. I feel quite refreshed, empowered and FREE!!!!

3. I'm not the type of person that will give people affirmation ESPECIALLY when they are looking for it. Let's be honest, it really gives me bad vibes when people do that and makes me want to run the other way.

4. Skinny jeans. Let's be honest, I ABSOLUTELY HATE THEM. I HATE THE WAY THEY LOOK AND I HATE IT EVEN MORE WHEN THEY ARE ON BOYS.

5. Let's be honest, I am really looking into hiring someone to cook my meals, clean my room and bathroom and run my errands. I am not making BIG bucks here, but it would be so worth it if I didn't have to do any of those myself.

6. Let's be honest, there are several people at work that just annoys me to know end. It doesn't really matter what mood I'm in, they seem to ruin it when they are near me. There are times when I imagine them punching them in the face. But by the grace of God, I have been able to restrain myself.

7. I dislike it when people write Iphone, Itunes, etc...especially when they are writing about how big of a fan they are to Apple products. Let's be honest, they aren't. It's iPhone, iTunes, etc... Get with it people!

8. iPhone really has changed my life and I love it to know end. That's just the truth. I've left my purse in the car and took my iPhone the other day because it's worth more than what I have in my purse.

9. I hate talking on the phone. I have more to say if via email/text/chat. But once you get me on the phone, everything slips my mind and I'm absolutely speechless.

10. I do not get along with people who are fake. I just can't be around them. To much fakeness actually makes my tummy upset.

03/03/09 UPDATE :)

A quick update on my life as of 3/3/09:

1. I was shocked over what happened on the Bachelor last night. Seriously Jason...you have just single-handily proved that ALL men are pigs. Thanks.

2. I'm detoxing from FACEBOOK! I know! It was dictating my life and every free moment that I have. I will be the first to admit: I HAVE AN ADDICTION! So this is why the drastic measure has to take place. So, now that I don't have Facebook, I blog instead. :)

3. My hairdresser went scissor happy on my hair. It's shorter than what I wanted, but it's cute. After the cut, I looked into the mirror and realized that I'm a spitting image of my mother when she was my age. It was kind of shocking how I look like her!

4. Today, one of my co-workers came and told me that she got up at 5 AM to prepare me lunch, a Korean tofu-soup (yum!) and that she's packed a Tuna sandwich for me to bring to class. Isn't that sweet?! I love my friends!

5. It's funny to me that God keeps filling up my life with stuff...good stuff. Whenever I'm just about to think "Ok...I think this is it..." He comes through. I'm just in amazement right now.

6. I'm beginning to realize how much I do not want to please men and that my heart aches to do everything for the Lord. It literally makes my tummy upset and makes me sick. And I know I have a few quirks and kinks to work out on my end too. I'm in no way perfect! But I can try!

7. I AM LOVING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REDDING, CA

Well, I'm currently sitting up front at the office being the receptionist for the next 30 minutes. I figured that I should use my time wisely and update my blog like I've said I would. :)

A week ago, my friend Sylvia along with her mom, Susan, drove up to Redding, CA to attend a church up there called Bethel (www.ibethel.org). We stopped in Bakersfield on Thursday night and stayed with the Browns to help break up the trip and left Friday morning for our drive to Redding.

We've decided to head up there after Sylvia returned from her trip to Virginia. One night we were sitting on my couch and she said that she wants to go to Bethel before she makes her permanent move out to Virginia. I couldn't believe what I was hearing because during the two weeks that she was gone, I had this overwhelming feeling to make a take a road trip to Bethel and I was to do it with her. It was a feeling that I couldn't shake away. I didn't know how to bring it up due to circumstances (limited available dates, finances, etc...). But when we both mentioned it, we knew that we needed to make a trip up there. So, we did! AND we had a BLAST!

We often hear that God works in mysterious ways. He definitely worked and imparted to each of us gifts, wisdom, blessings and so much more during our short time up there. We were each touched by different ways and left feeling refreshed, renewed and ready to take on the next step of our journey!

If God called me to move up there just to be part of this church, I can honestly say that I am willing to pack up all my belongings and leave everything behind and go. Now, I'm just waiting for Him to give me permission to move. When He does, you better believe that I will be out of here in no time! (Ok...I realize there's all these logistical things that comes with it and all, so, once that is all settled, I will waste no time in getting in my car and driving up there.)

I'm ready for a change, even though I don't handle changes very well. But I'm ready. He's prepared me for this season for awhile now and is continuing to do so. I know because my whole life has changed. Friends that I've been friends with for years and shared everything with has been cut out of my life. Other things are just coming to the end of their chapter. Sad? Yes and no. I feel quite relieved actually. I call it "peace that surpasses all understanding." :)

IT'S ABOUT TIME!

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog of mine. I've been kind of avoiding it because there are times when I want to write something, I'm not motivated to do it. Then, there's time when I absolutely cannot even come up with one word to write. There's really nothing inbetween for me. It's kind of how life is for me too. It's either I'm really busy or I absolutely ran out of things to do. Nothing in between. No balance! Why is that?

Anyway, so much has happened since my last post! Here's a quick run down of the major things that has happened so far:

1. I've moved from Fullerton to Brea.

2. I drove up for an AMAZING weekend to Redding with Sylvia.

3. I've deleted people out of my life.

4. Audit started and now is finished.

5. Started school, took my first test and passed (barely).

6. In the midst of changing church.

7. Seeing people from my past.

8. Met a lot of new people/friends.

9. Celebrated 5 birthdays within a one week span and more to come!

10. Seeing how God highly favors me through all my crazy endeavors.

11. Realized how much I HATE change.

12. Realized how much I CANNOT multi-task.

13. In those quiet moments with my iPod, journal, Bible is when I can hear God most clearly.

14. My best friend moved to Virginia. :(

15. Trying to figure out the next step in my life (this will be #16-1 million).

Through all of this, I have to say that God truly has been so GOOD to me. I don't regret anything. I know that He's taking me through a season of change and a season where my inheritance will bloom! I AM SO EXCITED! I know that there are going to be some low times too, but the end will be more than I can possibly have imagined. It is through those times I grow and become stronger. I love those moments even when it seems dreadful. :)

Thank you for journeying along with me.

Early Birthday Present to Myself!!!!!!

I've recently purchased a gift for myself...an iPhone. I love it! At first I was contemplating why I needed one and the only reason that I came up with is for the "coolness" of having one. What is worth $200+ to look cool? YES!!!!!!! I don't even care if I look uncool with it. I just love this phone. It has revolutionized my life and I am so giddy to use it.

Here are some reasons why I love this phone:

1. I'm not a person that talks on the phone, but with the iPhone, I get so EXCITED to receive calls. Like mentioned before...it has revolutionized my life.

2. Everything is in the palm of my hands: texting, map/GPS system, email, Internet, iTunes, and many cool applications to download...for FREE!!!!

3. It's sleek and it makes me feel cool. :)

4. It simple to use.

5. It makes me smile. :)

If you don't have one, get one. You won't regret it!!!

If you have one, please share your experiences with me!!!

UPS & DOWNS of life....

Well...what can you do when major changes happens in your life? The only thing that I've figured out is that you keep going forward. You don't look back and you don't stay put. You keep moving forward and hope that at the end of the road there will be a great outcome! :)

It's been only a week and a half since the BIG lay-offs at my work. I already feel like it's been years. I have to admit that it has been really hard to walk into work every day. It's a different place. It's a lot quieter. The dynamics has changed. The focus has shifted. I really don't know what is in store for me there anymore. That makes me sad.

So many changes are happening all at once. When it rains it DEFINITELY pours! Why couldn't it be spread out? Why does it all have to come at the same time? I don't understand it. It's like when one change happens, the other changes gathers and says to each other "hey, lets all get her all at the same time!"

Besides work changes, I will be moving in 3 weeks. Most likely to Brea. Other changes includes loss of friendships, people moving away, possible new church, and me going back to school to pursue something that seems impossible. I really just wish these things didn't all gang up on me at the same time. I don't handle change very well. I want to hide in a cave.

I wonder if my work will let me take a month off again...Hmmmmm....it's almost been a year and I'm due for another one. I may even have you join me if you can think of a way to get me a month off again! :)

LIFE SUCKS.

The last two days were very tough and emotional. I've learned a lot of things about life. Life sucks. BUT God is steady through all of it.

We all know that the economy is just not doing so well all over the world. This means that a lot of places are making drastic changes. Changes that will alter someone's life.

Thursday morning I was asked a very tough question by my two bosses. They told me that every department are making cuts and they need to too. So, they wanted to know what my thoughts are and asked me to choose whether or not I want to keep at full time or go down to part time. This was tough because I was picking fate for either my life or the life of the other full time accountant on staff.

To make a long story short, I've decided to stay on full time, while the other accountant was told the bad news of going to part time which means losing ALL benefits and decrease in pay. I feel so horrible because so many things comes into play for this and for her. TRUST ME...one of the toughest decisions I had to make.

Then the news kept coming about other people being let go. All which are my good friends. Friends that goes beyond just working together. Friends that I have shared life with. Friends that makes me want to go to work in the mornings. Friends that makes even the worst day at work so great. I've lost them. All of them. I've cried over the loss of these people. As I'm writing this, my eyes are welling up. I am so sadden by all of this. A chunk of my heart has been taken away.

Although I am so GRATEFUL that I have a job during this time, I am sad, frustrated, angry and burdened by the fact that I will no longer see my friends on a daily basis.

2009 is a year of change. With that comes excitement. With excitement comes the realization of how GREAT our God is.

Monday morning, when I walk through the those doors, I will no longer see my friend with her smiley face at the front desk. I am probably going walk down the hallway to go see my other friend to ask how her weekend went only to see her empty desk. Then probably text her to see if she's going to be coming in later that day. I will be eating lunch alone. I won't have anyone to complain to. It's going to be so different.

NOT UNDERSTANDING.

I am not understanding how a church can be divided on one issue. One side says that God told them this and the other side says God told them this. Sooooooooo.... If both sides claims that God told them things, who isn't REALLY listening to God? I am not understanding this concept. God is not a God of division or confusion. So......someone is not hearing Him correctly. Right? Someone please help!!!!!!!

EXCITEMENT.

I AM GOING TO THE USC VS. UCLA GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM TOTALLY STOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY?!

I'm shopping online for some shoes. I'm 5'10'' and wear size 11 shoes. Naturally, the big feet comes with height. So, whenever I shop for shoes, it confuses me even more why they even make shoes like these for a woman like me:

According to the description, these heels are 6''. So, that will make me 6'4".

Or these:

These are 6.5".

First of all...I will tower over all my friends and intimidate all guys I come across.

Secondly...they look INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Thirdly...these are hooker shoes!!!!!!!!!

I don't understand.

A NIGHT OF FIRSTS.

Yesterday, November 25, 2008, was a night of firsts.

1. Introduction to NKOTB history and music presented by my friend Ange.

2. New Kids on the Block concert with Ange.

3. Wore a hot pink shirt with giant glittered NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK across the front borrowed from Ange.

4. Screamed and jumped like 5,000 other crazy girls in the arena with Ange.

5. Witnessed 7 spin outs on the freeway on the way back due to HEAVY rain with Ange.

6. Pulled over and called 9-1-1 for a spun out car that hit straight on the wall without Ange.

TWILIGHT.

I am so so so so excited for the movie TWILIGHT. I've read the first 3 books in the series and I'm half way through with the 4th and last book.

It's going to be a great weekend. I can already feel it. :)

Pictures.

Here's the link to pictures from my trip to Atlanta. Enjoy!!!

Atlanta #1 and Atlanta #2

I loved, loved, loved Atlanta. It was gorgeous and people were super nice. I can't wait to visit when Elaine moves there!!!! Yay!!!!!

BEST WEEK EVER!!!

I've had one of the most amazing week ever!

I love how God works, especially down to the details of things. I really love it when He speaks to people that I don't know to confirm things to me. It's been an amazing week of learning and receiving words from God through people. Truly, truly, truly amazing.

Tonight we had a great time of ministering through prophetic worship. AWESOME is the word to describe it. But even that doesn't do justice. I know all of you know me and how I don't like to draw attention to myself by doing weird things. But this week I've learned about worshipping God and how He deserves the best. So, tonight....I jumped to music. I jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped. I danced. I've raised my hands. I sung the words on my heart. I DIDN'T CARE about those around watching me (well...they were off doing their own stuff with God). I felt so free. It was so great! I can't even describe it.

Oh boy. I don't think people will understand even a bit of what I'm talking about. But oh well. I've had one of the most amazing, spiritual week EVER in my life. I am literally AWESTRUCKED by God's goodness and so many other things. Just awestrucked and amazed. :)

Day 1: The 3 P's

I'm attending a week long conference in Norcross, GA on the three P's: Prophet, Prophecy and Praise. Tonight was our first session and it was amazing! We learned the basics on:

1. The purpose of prophetic

2. Why we need prophets

3. Why do we need prophecy

4. What does prophecy do

Throughout the next 4 days, we will dive into the details of it all. I am excited and I cannot wait to learn everything! More to come! :)

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

I will be trekking my way out to Atlanta, Georgia Sunday night. I am so FREAKIN' EXCITED! Elaine, Sylvia, Jarrod and I will be attending a conference at Northlands Church in Norcross, GA. God is going to do some amazing things there. We can all sense it. Can't wait! :) Post more later. I just needed an outlet for my excitement!

P.S. Why does it seem like there's an overflowing of work right before you leave for vacation? It's all a conspiracy!!!!

PERSPECTIVE

I've been meaning to write this post two weeks ago. I was on my way back from San Jose to Orange County. A young man sat next to me and struck up a conversation because he was curious to what I was reading: Mudhouse Sabbath. We chit chatted from the time he sat down till we got our luggage. We had a good conversation, but the part that got me was when I found out a little bit about his life. You see, he's 27, married with 3 kids, working full time at the Apple store, full time seminary student, children's pastor at church and takes turn to watch the kids when his wife goes in for work as a nurse. At the end of his list, he caught me off guard by saying that he LOVES his life and he wouldn't change anything. After hearing that, I started laughing. He asked me why I was laughing and told him that I just took a month off to take a break from life because I couldn't handle my very, very, very simple life and my one job. We both started laughing and he told me not to feel bad. Different people handle life differently. I think he was being nice but probably thinking "Wow, this girl is crazy!"

From that conversation, I just told myself: P-E-R-S-P-E-C-T-I-V-E!!!!! :)

CALL + RESPONSE

I watched the trailer last night and my heart just broke. I know I cannot possibly help every cause or every one that is hurting, but I need to become aware and take steps as much as I can. So, here's my part...I'm passing along the information. Hopefully you will be able to go to a showing of it near your home. For those living in Orange County, we will be going next Thursday, 10/16 for the 7:30pm showing in Irvine. Please come join us if you can. Pass the word along.

Check out the link by clicking here: Call + Response

IT CANNOT RAIN TOMORROW!

Because I will be here:


Eating this:


And I don't want it to RAIN!!!!!!

Today is a VERY SPECIAL day.

It's Kimmie's 30th BIRTHDAY!!!!!! YAY!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you tons!!!!!!!!!

PROPHETIC FORTUNES.

I'm beginning to think that God speaks to me through fortune cookies. At the beginning of year I had a fortune that said: "You are going to travel somewhere far away." And I did! For a whole month! It was glorious!

Lately, I've been feeling that I'm supposed to take another break. So, last night I opened up a couple of fortunes. Some were bad, but two were really great. Here's what each one said:

1. Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.
2. Need some adventure and enjoyment? Take a vacation.

So...I think God is trying to tell me that in 3 months I will be taking a vacation. :) We shall see! I'm telling you...prophetic fortunes are the way to go. :)

GLUTEN FREE SHOPPING...

Cost a lot of money. Glad that it's only me and is super happy that Whole Foods is right down the street from work and love the fact that they are EXTREMELY organized. You can spot gluten free products fairly easily and the workers there are EXTREMELY nice. I love it!!!

I had my first taste of gluten free bread tonight. I was craving a sandwich. Not too shabby. The key is...low expectations also I have a high tolerance and adaptation to weird/strange tasting foods. So...that comes in quite handy. :) For that alone, I am truly grateful. :)

SELF INFLICTED MISERY.

So...I've decided that I wanted to try different eating habits. So, this week, I'm going Gluten Free. It's really hard because almost everything that I want to eat contains some form of Gluten. It's driving me nuts! I don't know why I do this to myself. It's not like I'm doing it because I actually have health issues. I'm doing it because I'm curious. Of course I can quit anytime, but I can't and won't do that because it means I'm weak. Aughhhhhhhhhhh....why do I inflict misery upon myself? :)

After this...I'm going vegan. My body is going to hate me!

Phelps Phan

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this commercial! I don't know why, but it makes me laugh everytime I watch it. :) Enjoy!!!

My Life In A Few Words

Thanks Ange for introducing me to WORDLE!

These words are extracted from my blog. It's fun. You should try it too!!!!

A Letter...

Dear boys in cars,

Here are a few things your mother did not teach you and things that you should know:

1. I am not a piece of meat.
2. Do not honk at me.
3. Do not stare at me.
4. Do not whistle or make noise at me.
5. If you are trying to get a reaction out of me by doing #1-4, like I'm going to suddenly notice you and think that you're treating me like a prize possession and then jump into your car and live happily ever after...well...you're wrong. Please go find yourself a prostitute.

Thank you.

Grace

LOST

Nope...not about the show. Sorry friends!

I've lost 2 rings. Both of these rings have VERY significant value to me. I’m sad. I don’t know where they are and could possibly be. I need them to appear magically before my eyes. So…can you please pray that I will find them soon or they will find me soon?! Thanks.

Please Insert Foot In Mouth

Yup...experienced one of those moments last night. The worst is when you do try to retract what you've said or done...it just end up sounding pathetic, desparate and cheezy. At that point, you have one foot in mouth while standing on the other leg digging your very deep hole. Yup...hopefully you've learned something valuable from this post: Feet taste gross and digging a hole that you can't climb out from is a very, very, very, very bad thing!!!

4:20/4:23

So, during my week of fasting from the WWW, 4 days in a row I would wake up exactly at 4:20 or 4:23. It was the weirdest thing. I figured that it was God trying to tell me something but wasn't quite sure what it was. So, the first time it happened, I thought it was a verse, so immediately I thought of Isaiah 4:20. To my luck, Isaiah 4:20 does not exist. :) So, I thought of 4:2. It reads:

"In that day the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivor in Israel."

It was a great verse and every time I find a great verse that has to do with trees or branches, I email it to Elaine. So, I did. She thanked me for the verse. But in my heart it still wasn't quite THAT verse God wanted me to read.

I told Elaine about me waking up at those times and she encouraged me to go to Biblegateway.com and go through every 4:20-23 in the Bible. I went through the first 5 books in the Old Testament, but nothing stood out. I was determined to look through about 5 books a day just to find the perfect verse!

Then yesterday morning, my co-worker had a doctor's appointment in the morning and she was feeling very anxious about it. So I told her the day before that I wanted to pray with her. So, I was going through the different verses on healing and came across Proverbs 4:20-23. It reads:

"My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

I was pretty amazed, but it still wasn't the ONE.

Then this morning, I had the urge to read about the Israelites crossing the Jordan River. I started reading it but I had such a great urge to read v. 20-23 and v. 24 just to see what it says.

"And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, 'In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground. For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried up before us untl we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that ou might always fear the Lord your God."

This was what I was looking for!!!! See, on Thursday night, Elaine and I had our weekly prayer/soaking time. God gave me a word to share with her and it was this story. Except at that time I could not remember the reference for the life of me! She knew what I was talking about, but couldn't recall the reference either. So, ever since then it's been on my heart to find it...and I did this morning!!! I'm so excited that I'm now blogging about it. :)

God speaks to us in many different ways. It can be simply waking you up at a certain time each day to actually speaking to you in an audible voice. But however you "hear" from Him, if something happens three times or more, take into consideration that He's trying to get your attention and that you need to take action on it.

I woke up Jan. 1, 2008 with Him telling me that this is going to be a great year. A year full of adventures and new things. AND believe me it has been...a very joyous one and I'm still experiencing all the things He's showering me with. I love it!!! Changes are ahead. I no longer fear it like I usually would. I am quite excited and can't wait!!!!

FASTING...

I will be fasting from the World Wide Web starting tomorrow, Tuesday, 7/15 for a week. So...if you need to get a hold of me, please call or text me!

Thank you!!!!

**I know...not like I update my blog...a week will be a piece of cake right?!**

Harsh Reality

Two weeks ago, I got a dose of reality from God. It was a harsh one. But I did ask Him to show me through my devotions what I needed to see and hear. You see, that week was a very tough week and I just wanted to know the problem and fix it. So, one morning I had it with feeling like crap, so I asked God to reveal to me something...anything....In my mind I was hoping for some kind of cool revelation or encouragement. But He didn't do that. Instead, He pointed out what I needed to work on.

I read II Samuel 6. Here are the verses that really stood out to me:

V.5: David and the whole house of Israel were celebrating with all their might before the Lord, with castanets, harps, lyres, timbrels, sistrums and cymbals.

V.16: As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.

V.20-23: When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the kind of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"
David said to Michal, "It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel - I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.

When I first read this chapter I was like "Oh cool. God is encouraging me to dance and worship Him!" Then reality hit me. Actually it was a "slap across the face" reality. God was actually pointing out to me that I am Michal.

I am really not phased by this harsh reality. Actually, I felt the burden lifted off of my shoulder when I found the problem and its root. You know the frustration of trying to pinpoint why you're so bothered but you can't quite figure it out? Yeah...all that went away. I needed God to use this story to tell me the harsh reality of myself.

Being back has been hard. I have learned to un-love a place that I've called home for the last 12 years. I am embarking on a new journey with my career. I had to overcome my shyness in confronting and step out in boldness. I have to learn that God has not left me behind in possessing certain anointing and gifts. I'm gaining confidence in who God has created me to be. I'm realizing that each one of us has a story and we are not to look to others and compare. I am learning that pleasing men is not what I strive for.

I don't want to be a Michal. I want to be a David. I just want to be in God's presence and to soak in Him ALL the time.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

When God calls you to do something, you do it. It doesn't matter what everyone else is thinking or what you think for that matter. You obey Him and do it. I'm discovering that the more I do this, the more He gives me. For so long, I have been pleasing men rather than Him. So many times, I feel Him telling me to do something, I put it aside because I don't want to upset anyone or disappoint them. But no more.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Sometimes, He'll give me random and crazy thoughts. I still need to follow through with it. No more of hiding out and no more letting insecurities keep me from what He's called me to do. Nothing matters more to Him than loving and obeying Him with what He's given me to do. Everything else...

DOESN'T MATTER.

I love how God has just been using others to speak into my life. People who are close to me and people that I don't even know. God has been using them, strategically and in a timely fashion, to speak and confirm truth to me. It's been so awesome!!! I love it!

So...all this to say...the next step in my life is just beginning. I am so stoked. I know that I've been through one big adventure this year already, but another one is about to break from its shell really soon. I'm scared, but all I want to do is to do what He's called me to do and to please Him through my life. That's all.

I WANT TO ATTEND THIS...

I get random mail at work, especially for different types of workshops. Here's one that just cracked me up. I want to attend it just so I can experience some of awesomeness.

So question about this brochure...Are they saying that it's unacceptable to be happy, to stand around the water cooler and to be depressed? Hmmmmmmm.....

Let me know if you would like to attend this too! We can get a group discount! :)

TRIP LESSON #3: FREEDOM!!!!

April 30th, the day before my first day of my mini-sabbatical, I found a letter. I opened the letter and read the whole thing. I felt discouraged. I felt defeated. I thought to myself "What the heck am I doing? Why am I going on this trip for?" I felt like crap and I felt worthless. I felt so undeserving of something great. I cried.

After reading it, I quickly regained my composure and emailed my friend, Elaine, for prayer and to let her know what I just stumbled across. You see, that week, I was facing spiritual attacks. Earlier in the week, I had a meltdown. I couldn't stop crying and I felt so depressed and sad. I had my dear friend, Sarah Jackson, pray for me over Google Chat. It quickly subsided after her prayers. (Thanks friend!) Then, the stupid letter came.

Satan is constantly on the prowl especially when he knows that you are trying to accomplish something good. It's simple as that. He hates it and doesn't want you to succeed and receive all the goodness God want you to have. He knew that this trip, God would be building me up for the Kingdom and that did not settle with him. So, he decided to bring on my insecurities to make me feel devalued.

God told me that He wanted me to go on an adventure. So, I listened and planned the trip. Everything fell into place very quickly. Things were going smoothly till the month before the trip. I haven't booked any of my hotel stays. I lost heart and desires to get online and reserve. When I finally did have the desires to look, I was overwhelmed with all the choices. I knew that I needed to get the ball rolling. So, Elaine came over one night and pretty much made the decisions of where to stay for me. It was great! One hurdle down, lots more to go....

Then came all the doubts and questions. I started to fear that I've made a big mistake. What if I didn't gain anything from the trip? What would people think of me? The high expectations that I put on myself started to overwhelm me and it was so much to think about that I started wondering if I've made a wise choice or not. I was going back and forth in my mind. I was excited one minute and disappointed the other 59 minutes. It was crazy. Elaine kept praying for me and I did as well. I struggled in getting excited for it. I was scared in all aspect: what God was going to tell me, what others expected for this trip, etc...

This trip made me realized that satan is constantly pumping falsehood into us and we need to be ready to fight against that battle. I mean, I've always knew it, but it was so obvious this time around. I am so glad for friends like Elaine and Sarah who I can go to for prayer in times like these. I've never been good at asking for people to pray for me, but there's a sense of freedom that overcame me when I asked. I was allow to be myself...the worst of me. To be able to admit that I was struggling was HUGE for me. It was the first step to let satan know that he has no right to have a hold of me. It told him that I will not allow him to come in my way. It also set me free from his stronghold of me.

When I got home on April 30th, the first thing I did was to take the letter out and I lit it on fire. See pictures below as proof. :) I burned that piece of crap and I felt freedom!!!

I am not to look back to my past failures. I am not to use that as an excuse anymore. I am to look to how God has rescued me out of those pits and blessed me with greatness. I am to look ahead and pursue what He has set before me. I have hope. I have dreams. I need to pursue them.

Yes, insecurities still creeps up throughout the day. But I no longer allow that to overcome my being. I simply remind myself, which sometimes requires me to say it aloud, "I am beautiful. I am God's beautiful jewel. He has created me to be shown to the world and not hidden/tucked away." When I claim it and own it, I am free from those insecurities. It's great!

TRIP LESSON #2

I've been learning to recognize the different ways God speaks to me. For me, I believe that He speaks to me through my feelings and ocassionally, through a picture or a certain word. But most of the time, I believe He speaks to me by giving me a strong sense of certain things. I've figured all of this out while on my trip.

I guess whenever people say that they hear God, I'm expecting an actual audible voice. But that's not always the case. It just depends who you are, how you experience Him and that's how He "speaks" to you.

I love travelling by myself. I didn't have to worry about where to go, I can do anything I wanted. There were no set schedule and places to rush to. But one thing about travelling alone is the lack of communication. I've met some people, but most of the time, they don't speak any English. Anyway, the last day in Geneva, I was craving to have someone to talk to. It was the 7th day into my trip and I was just dying for a good conversation with someone!

As I walked out of the hotel and onto the busy street, I saw this girl standing in front of me at the stop light. I had a strong "sense" that she spoke English and she would be a good person to talk to. I thought about the possibility to talk to her, but it would just make me look like some strange, creepy girl. As we crossed the street, I had all these thoughts going through my head, like that it would be great if I could "accidentally" bump into her which will lead to having a conversation. All of a sudden, she stops at a ATM and I didn't have a reason to "accidentally" bump into her, so I just kept walking and walked to the nearest park to sit on the bench.

Ten minutes passed and I was still thinking about this girl. I was thinking to myself, "Ok, if she passes me, I'll smile and say hi!" I saw her, but she was 10 feet away and wasn't close enough for me to say "hi" in my normal tone of voice. I didn't want to yell either. That would really have scared her away. :) Then, I started thinking, "Ok, if she comes closer to the bench, I'll make my move." She started to walk toward where I was sitting and I was feeling excited and prepared myself. Then, all of sudden, she turned and walked the other way! I couldn't believe it. I was so close. Part of me said to go after her, but why would I do that? No way am I going after a stranger! I felt like I just lost a battle, but what could I do? I had to just set the feeling aside and move on. Then a strong "sense" came over me letting me know that I was going to meet her at L'Abri. I was like, "Yeah right. Out of all the people here, I'm going to meet her?! Whatever."

The day that I arrived at L'Abri, I met people left and right. By this point, I wasn't even thinking of her. Then she came into my room to introduce herself to me. That's when everything hit me. I asked her if she was in Geneva a few days back and if she stopped at an ATM machine. She said yes and I told her that when I saw her, I knew that I should have talked to her, but when the chance passed by, something told me that I was going to meet her at L'Abri. Turned out that she just arrived at Geneva that day and she was trying to get her bearings. She was also desparately in need of a conversation and told me that I should've went up to her!

(Bethany, my new found Australian friend, and me.)

From that point on, we were pretty much connected to the hips. She's there for the full 10 weeks and I miss her so much! We were an instant click and our friendship went to a level that usually would take months to get to! God brought us together for a reason and I'm glad He did.

From that experience, I've learned that God speaks loud and clear through my feelings/senses. I often disregard those things because I didn't think it had any value. But I've learned that on this trip that He "speaks" in many different ways (dreams, visions, words, etc...). Also, I've learned that we need to take the risk and just try it out. Throughout my trip, I've had a couple of instances where my senses/feelings just overwhelmed me to the point that I had to do something about it. I took the bold steps and the results were amazing. Now, I hold on to that and claim it. It's part of my intimate walk/relationship with God.

How does God speaks to you?

More to come later...

I AM MY BELOVED AND HE IS MINE.

I am not even sure where to begin.

I did not have any philosophical/theological revelations.

I did not hear the audible voice of God telling me the next steps of my life. (You know, the voice that sounds like Morgan Freeman? Yeah, that voice.)

I DID, however, discover the TRUE meaning to why God called me on this trip.

I've discovered how God sees me and that I needed to be responsible and take ownership of it.

The first few days of my trip was spent in Annecy, France. This is a small, quaint city outside of Geneva. When I arrived, I quickly unpacked and walked to the park to sit and just collect my thoughts. I found a park bench that overlooked the lake and the mountain. The view was magnificent!!! It was like I was sitting in front of a giant postcard. See picture below.

It was there that God first attempted to tell me why I was on this journey. I remember whispering and journaling this: "Wow, this is such a beautiful view!"

"I've created all this for you to see. I create beautiful things. I've created you. You are beautiful." was God's reply.

God had to hammer this concept inside of my head and heart in all different ways. At first I was just like "Thanks for the compliment." and move on with my agenda. He kept pounding this concept in me in all different ways and it wasn't until the last day of my trip that I finally got it and accept it without hesitation. It was so freeing!! God has called me His beautiful jewel and that I was not to be hidden away, but to be shown to the world.

My trip was far more than I have expected. It accomplished one thing and a little bit of another. But that ONE thing was HUGE! I am learning to love myself and to walk in confidence through life. I needed this boost of confidence so that He can begin to do bigger and better things in and through me. I needed to accept myself so that I can be a blessing to others.

I woke up on 1/1/08 with this: "Grace. 2008 is going to be a big year!" So far, it has been great and more than I could possibly have imagined!

The journey is just starting....

"GUEST-PARENT"

For the next 8 days (I've already done 2), I am in charge of someone's 3 precious cargo. The parents are away on a 10-days vacation in Hawaii. I just have to say that I don't know how parents do it. It's so difficult to step into a temporary position of authority. Sometimes I think maybe I'm being too strict, but at the same time I can't just let the kids roam around with no boundaries at all. If I don't set boundaries or discipline them, it would be chaotic around here, especially for 10 straight days.

So. To all the parents out there who reads this blog.... I ADMIRE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Kids do not understand why they are being disciplined or punished, but they will later on in life. :)

**In case you're wondering about the title, it was on my portion of the ticket to pick up one of the precious cargo from Sunday school today.**

Under Construction.

So. I'm attempting to spice up my blog. :) Can someone help me with the sizing? I don't like how everything is in the center and that the header is so huge. Also, I want to add fonts. How do I do that? :)

Love you guys to pieces. The faster I can get this going, the faster I can post about my trip!!!

Thanks!!!!

SOAKING TIME.

We have a class for kids during Sunday night service where they have "soaking" time with God. Each kid brings a pillow, journal and Bible with them. As they "soak" they are encourage to write down the images, words, colors...basically whatever they see or hear from God. After the time of soaking, they are encouraged to it with the group about what God has shown them. It's amazing what these kids hears and sees from God. I have SO much to learn from them.

I love the idea and phrase of "soaking with the Lord." Elaine and I started to use the phrase with one another, "Hey, have you had your soaking time with the Lord today?" It's a wonderful reminder that God wants to talk to us and we need to give Him that time and space to do that. I am excited to see how God is going to speak to me (visions, words, colors, etc... or maybe a combination). I am eager to hear Him because He has good things to say to me.

So....have you had YOUR soaking time with the Lord?

THE FUNNIES.

I love laughing. I love when people can make me laugh. So....

Here's a line that my friend said when I told her that my pants are getting tighter around the waist and butt area:

"Your pants tells you what your friends won't." -Dianne Drake, April 19, 2008

And there's another time when we were talking about how I bring snacks in for the office, she said:

"You're only doing this so that we can get fat to make you look skinny."

And here's L'Abri's policy on bringing a laptop:

"If for some reason you find your laptop chained to your body as you leave for L’Abri, or that you will need it for other purposes before or after your stay with us, we will store it safely for you upon your arrival and until you leave."

I don't know why, but it just makes me laugh that they put that in.

What makes you laugh? :) Please share!

BOOKED!!!

So, I've booked my stay last night for my BIG ADVENTURE. My dear friend Elaine helped me. I love that girl! I am just relieved that I have a place to stay when I arrive. Now I just have to figure out how to get there! Oh well. I still have 2.5 weeks to do that. In the meantime, yup, the dollar is basically worthless. I won't be eating, but I will have a nice bed to sleep in every night. I guess I'll be losing my 10 pounds there. :)

NOT SO COOL

To all the boys out there:

Here are a few things that are "not so cool" when it comes to interacting with a girl.

1. Do not email/chat with a girl that you haven't spoken to in months thinking that she's going to be jumping up and down with joy and running back into your arms. Not cool. Maybe you want to feel rejected and that's why you're doing it?

2. Do not start talking about being accused of something without knowing the whole story and especially via text/email/chat. Those things can never convey the true emotions and tone of voice. Not cool. Even I know that and I DISLIKE CONFRONTATIONS!!!!

3. When you do talk to a girl to try to smooth things over, don't act like a wuss. Not cool. Be a man and still treat them like a human being and not a piece of meat.

4. When you are doing #3, at least open the door and come out. Don't use the window. Not cool.

5. When you are doing #3 and #4 and you are talking about being degraded, please think what you are doing and accusing the girl of doing. Ummmmm....talking through a window? Yeah, that definitely doesn't feel degrading at all. Not cool.

6. When you are doing #3, 4 and 5, don't start fake coughing and acting like it's cold. You're inside and the girl is outside. Not cool.

7. When you do #3, 4, 5, 6 and then say that you're going to sleep, please make sure that you don't get caught lying. For example, turn off all lights, close curtains, not having your tv on so loud, etc...simple things like that will help. Not cool.

8. Don't act like you are still in preschool. In preschool, it's ok to be buddy buddy with one person and then the next minute to forget them completely. But when you are an adult, at least try to hear the other person out and work things out. Don't go and delete someone from Facebook only to regret it later. Not cool.

9. Don't say what you don't mean, especially giving false hopes to girls. Not cool.

10. Please do not forget about all the good things the girl has done for you and her redeeming qualities. If you are going to remember this girl by the last interaction you had with her, be glad that she's smart enough to end it.

UPDATE ON MY LAST POST

So....here's an update on my last post...

1. Normal routine. Didn't increase or decrease.

2. I have been working out. So far, I've done 4 days out of 7. My goal is to do 5 days out of 7. I still have 2 more days.

3. I've been going to bed earlier, but haven't been sleeping all that well.

4. Thought about doing my taxes. Talked about the need to do my taxes. Have it on my agenda to do my taxes tomorrow.

5. Who needs details? I did finally plan out how many days I'm going to be spending at each place. The next step is to book a hotel in each of those places. As for what I'll be doing...I'm going to wait till I get there.

6. Haven't simplified. But does it count if my friend is buying a Prius tomorrow and I get to ride and possibly drive it? For now, I'll just live vicariously through other people. :)

7. Budget?! Yeah...keep dreaming. I don't think I can do it. BUT I have to. After the trip. Can't start now. I really need to. So, if you want to eat out, either you are going to pay or you have to be someone extremely special. (Don't worry Ange...you're pretty special and we still have a lot to try out at Whole Foods!!!!)

8. Do you see a difference? Yeah. I can't find anything that I like. If you would like to help me revamp this site, please let me know! I'll treat you to lunch or dinner or something! PLEASE!!!!

9. Well. I'm trying, but my body has been craving EVERYTHING under the sun and I've been constantly hungry. I did go to Henry's today and bought some veggies and fruit. As I carried them into the apartment, I started laughing because I'm hardly going to be home to eat them!

10. No organizing yet. In fact, everything is actually in a laundry bag now. One for dirty clothes and the other one for clean. At least the floor is cleared. My shoes are everywhere though!!!

So, there. I'm being an open book. Help me. Someone!!!

There are things that I want to accomplish before April ends. Maybe by posting it here, someone out there can help me accomplish one, two or all these goals. :)

1. Pray and fast more.

2. Doing more exercise!!!!!

3. Sleep more.

4. Do my taxes.

5. Plan out all my logistics and details for my BIG ADVENTURE.

6. I want to simplify my life. I feel like I've already done as much as I could, but something inside of me is nagging me that I need to do more. I've been thinking about downsizing my car and getting a smaller one. What do you think?

7. Do a budget and keep to it. :)

8. Update, upgrade, remodel, whatever you want to call it, this blog.

9. EAT BETTER. Seriously. I know I've blogged about this before, but I really DO need to start eating better.

10. To organize my closet. It amazes me how my closet is still so packed even when I have 2 large bags of clean clothes sitting on the floor and clothes that I don't bother to hang up after wearing piled on top of one another...on the floor. Why is it still so jammed packed and yet I keep buying? Well...that will need to stop!!!

So, now that I've shared with you all of these, I'm going to ask you that you hold me accountable. Thank you!!!

THE ADVENTURE.

I'm taking an adventure this year. It's a pretty huge one.
I'm taking a risk and a HUGE step of faith in all of this.
It all started with a thought, a longing, a desire that I couldn't shake off. It depressed me to no end that I wasn’t pursuing it and I knew that I had to do it.
Then the question came, "Grace, are you willing to take this journey even though the outcome is unclear?" After much praying and thinking...my answer is "Yes. I am."
Things started to unravel. One confirmation after another.
I’ve been making efforts and steps to make this adventure happen, but ran into some stumbling blocks that made me wonder “Hmmmm…interesting. Maybe it’s too good to be true.” I felt a little bit defeated and start doubting this whole thing. Then…another confirmation came through just last night!
I’m excited and scared all at the same time.
I have no idea what the future holds.
I know I’m not sharing what this adventure is going to be because I’m still kind of scared to tell everyone. Please do not feel offended if you don’t know. I’m just not at that place yet to share with everyone.
But I am writing this on my blog for one purpose only…for you to pray for me. I guess you can say that “I’m rallying up the troops!” :)
This is going to be a BIG adventure and I need all the prayers that I can get!

I love you all!

DANGLING CARROT.

Being single isn't as hard as people think...not until someone comes into your life and shakes up your whole world. I will be 30 this year and although the majority of my friends are married, I do not regret not being married. Definitely in my early days, I wished that I was part of the "trend", but as I look back, I would not have the opportunities that I've had. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything!

Anyway, so, we all know that my roommate and I moved into a new place in Ghettoville, Placentia. Well, our next door neighbor is a very handsome single man. He's the typical bachelor. He has a good job. Only has to work part-time. Comes home and sleeps. Goes to Startbucks at night. And repeats.

I met him one night after I came back from a run. I was sitting on the stairs to cool off and out he came. He started chatting with me. We were talking for about 20 minutes and then we decided to go out for coffee. Anyway, we had a good time over tea. I introduced him to Coffee Bean. :) After that night, we didn't see each other for 1.5 weeks. I was alright with that. UNTIL this week...

You see, this guy, who lives next door to me likes me. He likes me and wants to hang out with me. He looks at me even when I look the worst and smiles. He thinks I'm cute and can't believe that I'm not dating anyone. Sounds like a great guy, huh? But the problem is that he's not a believer. I feel like a horse with a carrot dangling in front of me. Teasing me of the thing that I want to have but can't. I am struggling so much with this. AND that is why I'm writing this on my blog. Because each one of you who are reading this...I am hoping that you WILL hold me accountable and be in prayer for me. Ask me how I'm doing. Be honest with me. Don't beat around the bush. I tell Elaine and Christina everything because I need them to slap reality into me.

Yes, I've kissed this guy. We've kissed for a long time on Tuesday and Friday.

I made a pact with Elaine this morning no more smooching.

As much as I like being liked and being looked with admiring eyes even when I am in my sweats, hair all up and messy and I smell like sweat, he's not for me. I can't have him. Why couldn't he be a believer?! Oh well.

So, please...HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE!!!!!!!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EATING HABIT UPDATE #1

I was doing so well up until today. I am a stress eater! So, when I'm stressed, I will eat. It comforts me. Today wasn't a good day. Just wanted to let you know. :)

I need to start eating better. So, I'm blogging it to receive support and accountability. So, here are my goals. Hopefully, they are realistic enough for me to obtain.

1. Not eat out as much and to cook more. This will also help me save money. :)

2. To eat more veggies and fruits especially for my snacks.

3. To break from stress eating. I can eat a whole lot when I'm stressed.

4. If I am to eat fish or meat, I am to buy the "wild" fishies and organic meat. Cost a little bit more, but that will be covered by the savings of #1. This is only for when I'm cooking. Going out will be more flexible.

5. To lose 10 pounds. This will be my goal no matter how long it will take.

6. To try to not use the microwave whenever possible.

7. To try my hardest during personal training and not just mediocre work out. To really push myself and burn those calories!

8. To exercise on my own 2-3 times a week for 30-40 minutes each. This is for cardio.

9. To have 1-2 meals throughout the week where I can splurge. Hey, you just need to at times. But if I can avoid it...GREAT. If not, this will give me the option to have cookies, chips, ice cream, etc...so that I don't go crazy! :)

10. To have fun and hopefully to be able to keep it up as a lifestyle.

Thank you for reading this. I apologize before hand for those I will be going out and eat with...I might be one of those people who will take a long time deciding what to eat at the restaurant. :)

DID YOU KNOW...

That you're not suppose to put a child in a plastic tub? In case you didn't, here's a sticker that indicates the danger of it in case you were about to put a child in a plastic tub. Can you believe that it can cause suffocation?!

FOOD GALORE!!!!

So, yesterday we hosted a Superbowl Party at our ghetto apartment. The turn out was great and we had a fabulous time. Anyway, the day before I went shopping for food. I seriously surprised myself because I bought a TON of food! I still have 1/2 of the groceries left untouched and unopened sitting in my fridge. I kept thinking that it wasn't enough and would keep going to the store to purchase more. Isn't that silly? I guess my thing is that I rather have an over abundance of food than not enough. I never want people to feel like they are limited to what they can eat. Can you imagine if I had a sign saying "2 chips per person?" That would just be silly.

Anyway, all this to say that by the end of the day, after shoving all the leftovers back into the fridge, I was pretty much mesmerized and said to myself "Wow! That's a lot of food!"