First off, in case your wondering, I'm not pregnant nor am I close to getting pregnant. This is just a blog about my take on parenthood and how that effects frienships. There is a connection.
Last night, I was talking to a good friend of mine about bad and good parents. As a single person with no kids, I know some of you parents out there are probably thinking, "Well, you don't know what it's like and you shouldn't have any say in this." True. I don't know what it is like to be a parent, but I do know what it's like to watch your child being out of control, rude and disobedient. It is quite miserable to watch actually.
I've been thinking about this topic since my trip to Colorado last week. I went to visit a dear college friend and she has the cutest and most adorable son EVER. I watched this barely one year old boy be so happy about the little things and obey when his mommy tells him not to touch certain things. When the T.V. is on, he doesn't just stare at it, but rather he has absolutely no interest in it and continues to play with his toys. Overall, he's a happy baby and barely cries. I've experienced this with a lot of my college friends children. I've watched my friends parent with authority and love and have watched how their kids are growing up with respect and obedience. Of course, there are those days, but that's just the nature of being human and being a kid! :)
On the other hand, I've known friends who spoil their child rotten because their mentality is "they are still learning and does not know better." They buy them things when they don't deserve it, they are at their beckon call when they throw a tantrum. They don't discpline them with authority when they misbehave. Children knows and no matter how young they are, they need to be taught right and wrong. As an outsider, it has been hard to watch. I don't feel like I have a voice to say anything because I don't have any kids. But to be quite honest, as an observer, I do have a lot to say. It doesn't take only a parent to understand that your child is misbehaving. EVERYONE SEES IT! Sadly enough, this has drew me away from hanging out with my friends.
So, to all my college friends who are parents, I've watched your kids grow up these last few years and I want to applause you for standing strong and for teaching your kids well. Believe it or not, I've learned a lot from listening to your stories and struggles with parenting. I truly appreciate your dedication to raising your children to be respectful, loving and obedient toward others and most of all, toward God. I love each of your kiddos very much and now I know who to turn to when it's my turn. Thanks for being such great examples!
I have so much that I want to share, but this is my best attempt to keep it at a level before I start a war. :) What are your thoughts on this?
3 comments:
Grace,
I loved this post. It reminded me of when we took a parenting class and the instructor, on the very first day, pretty much told the class that whatever you don't like about your kids, other people don't like about your kids, and if your kids are unlikeable, other people do not like them. The room was totally silent! No one had ever really thought about that before. I certainly resolved to take care of a few things after that! :)
I learned a long time ago that YOU, my friend, are full of wisdom, regardless of not having children yourself. I remember you saying a few things off-hand when A. was a 2- or 3-year-old, and you probably didn't think much of it, but I remembered your words and changed some things because of that.
I actually think mothers, when they are not competing with each other, can turn around and build crutches for each other if we're not careful. Is my kid misbehaving? Well, hers is, too, and in the same way, so it's normal, right? And we'll just laugh it off or something.
Your voice might just be the very voice of reason people need sometimes, my friend. :)
In other news, I sure wish my children wouldn't stare at the TV when it is on. This is one of the many reasons we don't have one available for them--they act like little addicts around it and it is disturbing. But what I really meant to write was that I have a hunch I've met that adorable boy from Colorado, and I fell in love with him one day. He IS a total sweetie. :)
Hi Bran. Thanks for your comment. This topic has really been on my mind for the past week. I've realized how hard parenting is and that to be a parent requires a ton of love, patience, wisdom and authority in love.
I feel bad that I've distanced myself from friends who allow their kids to run their life. It's purely miserable.
Even though it is a ways off, Jer and I talk about how we want to raise our kids a lot. Love your thoughts :)
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