I've been battling with the definition/meaning of church recently. It has been a mind battle for me. I feel guilty when I don't go to "church" on Sunday mornings and when I do go to "church" I feel like it's more out of force and make sure that I make it so that people can see that I was there. Going to "church" has been feeling more and more like a roll call in class for me. If people see me there, I wouldn't get questioned. If they don't see me there, I can expect a few texts in the days following asking where I was. Granted, they care about me, but at the same time I hate the feeling that I have to go to "church" just so that I won't get questioned. And when my answer is simply "I didn't feel like going" and/or "I wanted to spend time with God...alone," I get this appalled look as if I just committed a crime or something.
I don't believe that "church" is about Sunday mornings. I don't believe that "church" is a building. I don't believe that guilt should be associated with "church." I don't believe that I need to give an excuse to why I'm not at "church." I don't believe that I need to attend "church" in order to earn brownie points with God.
I do believe that CHURCH happens every day and in every and any settings. I'm still learning...
What are your thoughts????
3 comments:
Oh, Gracie, I felt like that for years!
I don't claim to have all of the answers, but I do know that one of the reasons I kept going when I didn't feel like going was because Hebrews 10:25 tells us not to give up meeting together. In that time, I didn't consider it legalistic, but more like obeying during hard times. Even though I didn't feel like following Christ in that regard, I knew I was called to do it, and I knew that not going would be rebellion.
With that said, there are things that the Bible says meetings of believers should be like. I don't know why it is hard for you to go, but I think that when I had a hard time it was because the church I was attending lacked some of these aspects. In the ancient church meetings, believers were taught, they worshipped together, they encouraged each other, they served each other, and they regularly had "love feasts" which culminated in communion. I guess what I am saying is that one thing I had to find out was whether I felt unpassionate about it because I was dry, or because there was actually something wrong with the church. For me, the church I was at at the time was very emotion-driven, I think, and for a while I got caught up in that and then eventually I burned out and realized that the church had no foundation, no depth, nothing to keep me there, that sort of thing.
Of course, all of this is my experience and I really don't know about your church or what you are experiencing. It might be totally different.
You might want to read Nine Marks of a Healthy Church which isn't intended to be everything a church has to have, but identifies some of the problems of today's churches.
Of course, if your church isn't healthy, then there is the question of whether you stay and work for the betterment of the congregation, or move on to a place where you can meet in a good way with other Christians. And that is an answer I can't give you at all. :)
Love you, girl. I'll be praying for you.
Hi Bran! Thanks for your comments. I think I'm really tired from all the expectations, obligations, politicts, etc...that goes on at a church...every church has them. I feel so suffocated by it.
I am really disliking the fact that when I simply need a break from yet, I get all kinds of slack and questions like "What's going on?" or "Why weren't you at church?" or "Maybe you're not doing enough." Seriously???? That irritates and frustrates me to no end.
Who defined that church had to be on Sunday mornings in a building? I find myself doing church all the time with other people, individually or as a group, where we talk about God's goodness, encourage one another and pray.
I totally understand your point. I just don't understand why Sunday morning is such a huge deal to people. Is it just to listen to a sermon, sing a couple of songs with a huge number of people that you hardly know and then leave instantly after service? I can do that by myself: listen to a podcast, sing a couple of songs from a CD and it'll be in the comfort of my own home.
Like you've said about ancient churches, that to me is what church is and should continue to look like that. But when people start associating Sunday morning sitting in a building to be the only meaning of "church", that's when I have a problem.
Ewww! Yucky politics! I am sorry.
:(
And it is no fun when people nag. My son nags me about nagging, so I know. ;)
Have you ever told the people who call you why you don't want to go? I'm just wondering, because I think if I was nagging someone about church (and hopefully I don't do things like that), and then they told me something like what you said, it would make me want to help fix things.
Sorry, girl. :(
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